Why Do Our Early Attachments Matter So Much?

The blueprints for our sense of who we are, our future relationships, and our development arise from a combination of our genetic givens and our experiences. The person or people to whom we are attached during our first few years (the caregiving environment) will have a major influence on how we develop.

Protection and Survival

The initial functions of the primary attachment bond are protection and survival, both of which depend on the presence of an adequate caregiver. John Bowlby, a British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who studied young children separated from their parents during wartime, concluded that the caregiver relationship was as vital to mental health as nutrients were to physical health, and that attachment behaviors are biologically based. When infants feel stressed or threatened, the attachment system is activated, and they cry or signal the need for the caretaker in another way.

Shaping the Self and Expectations of the World

The second function of the attachment bond is the shaping of the sense of self, the sense of the other, and the expectations of how the world will respond to oneself. In early attachment relationships, the behaviors of each partner are shaping and being shaped by the other. Children’s attachment behaviors are intended to bring their caregivers closer to help them with their distress. How the caregiver behaves in response will influence how the child behaves in future moments of distress. In turn, the caregiving behaviors of the attachment figure will be influenced by the child’s behavior.

If the baby’s initial cries bring an immediate response and soothing, the baby learns to expect that and develops a sense of confidence in the caregiver’s response—and in themselves as worthy of care. Children begin to know that if they cry, the caregiver will be there.

If there is no immediate response, attachment behaviors escalate: wailing, banging on the crib, flailing. If there is still no response, and this happens repeatedly, a baby may be unable to cope, falling into inconsolable states. In this situation, a sense of powerlessness, unworthiness, or despair can develop.

In the best situations, caregivers respond sensitively to the needs of the child, but infants and children develop attachment bonds with their primary caregivers even when their needs are not adequately met. When this happens, the attachments and self-concepts that arise will be more problematic. Early experiences of caring response—or lack of care—from a primary attachment figure can play an important part in future relationships by shaping expectations, instilling confidence, or engendering doubt.

The Impact on Brain Development

A third critical function of early attachment is its role in brain development. Certain regions of the brain are more experience-dependent and experience-susceptible for their development. For example, the orbito-frontal cortex, a key area for reasoning and associational processes, has a sensitive period for growth in the 6th to 12th month that depends on exciting, pleasurable face-to-face interactions with the caregiver. States of positive arousal (like those in games of peek-a-boo) activate a rush of biological processes in which endorphins are released in the brain. Conversely, if the baby experiences prolonged states of negative arousal, as in being left alone to cry when hungry, stress hormones are released.

Affect Regulation and Emotional Balance

The ability to moderate emotional arousal is present at birth, but it requires refinement and elaboration through interaction with a caregiver in order to develop. Affect regulation results from the interaction between the caregiver’s response to the baby’s affect and the baby’s central nervous system and neurotransmitter systems.

When the infant is distressed, the stress response system is activated. If the caregiver responds in a timely way with soothing, arousal can diminish, and the infant can regain equilibrium in a more manageable environment. If the caregiver repeatedly fails to respond in a timely way or responds in a way that heightens negative arousal, the stress response system can be dysregulated in an ongoing way, interfering with the child’s ability to manage future stressful moments.

During the first year of life, the attachment relationship is the critical context in which development takes place. A sustained positive attachment can provide:

• The learning of empathy

• The control and balance of feelings, including destructive ones

• The optimal development of cognitive capacities

Patterns of soothing or lack of soothing—such as babies left alone to cry in states of arousal—are internalized at the body level (hormonally) and also representationally. Infants can perceive and store memory in ways that are later lost to us.

The Potential for Lifelong Healing

Attachment plays a crucial role in our early years, setting the stage for our future selves. Some of us face hurdles early on in life, made more challenging if our primary attachments have been disturbed or disrupted. Some of us are lucky enough to have a more promising beginning in life, giving us more capacity to deal with later challenges.

Our brains and our emotions have plasticity—the capacity to change in response to new experiences throughout life. Whatever our beginnings have been, subsequent positive attachment experiences in adolescence or adulthood have the potential to enable new patterns and responses.

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Read the original article on Psychology Today here.

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References

• Bowlby, J. (1973). Attachment and Loss: Volume II: Separation, Anxiety and Anger. New York: Basic Books.

• Kaplow, J. B., Saxe, G. N., Putnam, F. W., Pynoos, R. S., & Lieberman, A. F. (2006). The long-term consequences of early childhood trauma: a case study and discussion. Psychiatry, 69(4), 362–375.