By Dr. Wendy Smith | The first parole hearing is a critical juncture. What happens next?
PSYCHOLOGY TODAY (Dr. Wendy Smith) – August 26, 2025
KEY POINTS
- There’s a psychological difference between being a “lifer” and being eligible for parole.
- Problematic behavior in prison and level of insight are critical factors considered in parole decisions.
- When parole is denied, motivation for self-improvement is especially difficult.
On August 21st and 22nd, Erik and Lyle Menendez were denied parole. The hopes of the two brothers and the family, friends, and advocates who had been working on their behalf were dashed. As I learned from interviewing former youth offenders convicted of murder and other violent crimes for my forthcoming book, Before Their Crimes: What We’re Misunderstanding About Childhood Trauma, Youth Crime, and the Path to Healing, the important question is, what do they do now?
Until recently, when they were granted a resentencing hearing and became eligible for parole, the brothers had anticipated spending their lives behind bars. When you’re a “lifer,” it can feel unimportant how you spend your days or whether you think much about your crime and your victims. And when you are incarcerated at a young age, your youth and immature decision-making, as well as your perceived vulnerability, can make you easy prey to older inmates’ pressure to engage in illegal activity. If you’ve used substances to cope with unmanageable feelings in the past, it’s hard to see a reason why you should give them up.
Resentencing brings hope for the life outside that you thought was gone forever. People start thinking about the changes they need to make so that a parole board will find them suitable for parole. One part of the equation is giving up substance use, fighting, or really, any behavior that’s considered unacceptable. Your conduct over the length of your incarceration is reviewed, with an eye to seeing an arc toward improvement.
When the Menendez brothers applied for clemency, Governor Newsom ordered an assessment, now part of their record, in which they were found to be a “moderate” risk to the community. There had been some fights, some drug use by Erik, but a major focus at the hearings was their repeated use of cell phones over time. As recently as last year, when they knew they might have a chance at resentencing, both brothers had engaged in the use of contraband phones. At the same time, both had engaged in activities that helped other inmates and the prison community.
The second factor weighed at parole hearings is your insight into the circumstances of your crime and its harmful effects. You are expected to demonstrate your level of self-understanding, remorse, and ability to be accountable for the crime you committed and your behavior in prison.
For people whose early life trauma has played a part in their criminal behavior, and that includes most juvenile offenders, including the Menendez brothers, the path to accountability runs through healing from their own traumatic experience. When your stress response system has been dysregulated at an early age, your constant hyperarousal and attribution of danger where it may not exist, or the defensive numbing and callousness to your own feelings and those of others, have played a role in dehumanizing your victims. When you are able to face your own pain, it opens you up to feeling identification and empathy with those you have harmed.
Most of the people I interviewed had been denied parole at their first hearing, and some at their second or third. Denial was always crushing and sometimes felt like an unjust outcome. Freedom and the outside world receded once again, sometimes precipitating renewed violence or drug use. For many, the greatest challenge is turning this painful juncture toward further self-development and deeper accountability. Those who eventually succeeded in being paroled at their next hearing had taken the opportunity to take a hard look at themselves and continue to grow.
For more information, visit https://wendybsmithphd.net.